i had to go to london this week on business and decided that the quickest and easiest way to get there would be by train. this is probably the point at which i should announce that i am never using public transport ever again! dramatic as that may seem, it’s just not pleasant and i’m sure that it should come with a health warning.

firstly on my journey up, a person sat next to me that had serious hygiene issues! there’s only so long that you can hold your breath before you start to turn blue and trust me, i had reached that point. by the time that i had got off of the train, i was convinced that the smell had rubbed off on me and the guys that i was going to meet would think that i really smelled!

later in the day, before heading home, i decided to make the most of being in london and popped into selfridges to do a spot of shopping. now anyone that knows me will know that i have a slight shopping weakness and find it really hard to resist temptation. whilst i was in selfridges, i decided to go to the lingerie department as they sell brands that you just can’t get locally. so, i was wandering around looking at the different underwear sets when i found a really gorgeous set that i liked. with that, the assistant came over and insisted that i tried it on….

ten minutes later, i’m in the dressing room and without any warning, the shop assistant pulls back the curtain to the changing room to “take a look” at how it fitted - completely oblivious to the fact that there was a guy stood right outside of the room waiting for his wife!?! to make matters worse, she then announces really loudly that it looks gorgeous as i’m only small! the ground couldn’t have opened up and swallowed me quick enough.

eventually, having changed back in to my clothes, the assistant asks whether i’m going to take the set. so, i glance at the price tag and decide that it’s a bit more than i would normally spend, but it’s xmas, so i should treat myself. that alone shouldn’t have led to any problems - apart from when she rang the items in to the till, the price that i had seen had been for the bottoms alone! all i can say is, i had better get lots of use out of it!!

things got better when i went to meet an old friend and we caught up which was lovely. we then decided that it was getting late and i should probably get my train home. the issue with that is that i had purposefully chosen a cheap return ticket that i had been told i could use on earlier trains but not later ones. when i went to the customer service desk, they then told me that to transfer it to an earlier train would cost an addition £60 or else, i would have to wait at paddington for another 3 hours for the train that i was actually booked on to. being a girl alone and wanting to get home, i was forced to begrudgingly hand over the cash.

as if that wasn’t bad enough - the journey home was torturous! i made sure that i got my laptop out as to discourage smelly people from sitting next to me and i was quite smug when the train pulled away with a spare seat next to me. i was convinced that this was going to be a better journey….

that was until a guy sat himself in front of me, who had seeping scabs on his head and was determined to pick at them the whole way home. as if that wasn’t bad enough, he had obviously eaten something that hadn’t agreed with him (gross I know, but imagine how i felt). it was at this point that i made a mental note to myself that i really should learn to be discreet as it turned out that when i thought that i had said “eew gross” in my head, it had actually come out of my mouth and he turned around to give me the most disgusted look?!?

my point is (i know i’ve taken a long time to get around to it!) that i don’t think it’s fair that i should have to pick up other people’s guts with my lungs! have some respect - that’s just gross! only boys could produce such a horrible smell anyway as girls obviously smell of roses!

so following a 3 hour journey home (the train was apparently running on 1 engine rather than 2 - i didn’t know they had 2) i have vowed to never take public transport again unless in time of emergencies. my bugsy is coming everywhere with me in future

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