help! i’ve got an event in a couple of days and i look like an umpa lumpa - don’t really think i can call in sick with skin discolouration, do you?

i had my first experience of a spray tan today - i’ve never had one before, but as i was whiter than milk, thought that it would probably be a good thing to do! my friend has just learned to spray tan professionally and so offered me one for free, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, i did of course take advantage of the offer. i knew that she had already practiced on lots of people so i felt i was in safe hands…

that was of course unti she had sprayed one arm and then looked up to me and said “i’m going to try something new on you today” - lets put it this way, when you’re stood there with very little on and one brown arm, you don’t have much choice.

the disturbing thing is, that i thought the tan was meant to develop overnight, but literally you could see it darkening as soon as i got out of the booth and by the time i came to leave her house, all that you could see were my teeth! eek! things were made worse when she suggested getting a pizza - as she had done my tan, i of course offered to pay. when i went to put my shoes on though, she broke into a sweat and said that i would have to go out with no shoes on. it was ok she told me, as i could wait in the car whilst she ran in.

so, we were in the car, my friend and me the umpa lumpa with no shoes - when it struck me - i didn’t have any cash on me, just a cheque book. i then had the humiliation of walking into the restaurant to pay for dinner, darker than an umpa lumpa and with nothing on my feet - surely that causes hygiene issues for them?!? oh well…

she’s told me i have to keep it on overnight and wash it off in the morning, so i’m praying most of it will wash off, otherwise i’m going undercover! i’ll keep you posted!

Note: to my adorable friend, if you’re reading this - you know who you are - i’m sorry, i don’t really mean it, i love it, honestly :-/

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