so, i think i’ve come up with an ingenius business idea - and i’m sure i’m not the only girl that thinks it! this weekend, following a nasty bird poop incident - i was forced to wash my car… it’s actually the first time that i’ve done it since buying bugsy but i suppose it had to happen sooner or later. normally i rely on the tactic of driving as fast as possible on the motorway to dislodge any debris, but given the “situation” this time around, i knew that wouldn’t help!

so, i should probably give you a bit of background about the situation before i go on to the most amazing idea in the world (not that i believe in over-selling at all!). i had eventually got back from london and was looking forward to jumping in my little beetle to make my way home. that was of course, until i realised that my lovely shiney little car had been turned into one big moving bird poo! nice! all i can say is that the birds had taken a real shine to it and had left a number of gifts on it for me - generous i know!

this alone was bad enough, i was dreading the journey home where i knew everyone would be stopping to look at the travelling poop! however, what i didn’t realise was that with the soft top, the smell absorbed straight into the car and when you moved, the air just circulated. by the time i got home, i smelled of bird!

anyway, back to my original idea - having been forced to give in and wash it, i decided that i should probably learn to top up the water and oil. brave i know. having read the manual around 10 times, taken 30 minutes to work out how to open the bonnet and eventually managed to cover myself in oil from head to toe, i worked out which cap was for what and that the dippy stick oil thing needs to be covered in oil to at least half way. it was at that point that i realised, like you can pay people to wash your car, you should be able to pay them to top up the water and oil! i’d pay for that!

i mentioned it to a friend and they werent exactly sold on the idea, but for girls like myself, that it could be said aren’t that practical - i think it’s amazing! so now to go about patonting the idea!?!

btw - this was the windscreen after i had actually tried to clean it - now do you understand? girls shouldn’t be subjected to such nasty things! now that i’ve brightened your day with my gross story and made myself feel totally grubby again, i’m off to have a shower. have a happy week peeps!

1. “urgh i just walked past the kitchen and the chef is sat on the side, is that even hygenic? this place is gross” - when the waitress is stood behind you

2. “i don’t mind how we split the bill, it’s not like we’re students any more who account for every 50 pence” - when the waitress behind you only works there part time to get her through university

3. “oh well, dinner’s been insightful, we know not to come back here again” - when (you guessed it) the waitress is still stood behind you.

dammit!

happy sunny saturday people!

*******************************

p.s. update on the umpa lumpa situation - only now an umpa - the lumpa part washed away in the shower. still able to make the event - yay!

m

help! i’ve got an event in a couple of days and i look like an umpa lumpa - don’t really think i can call in sick with skin discolouration, do you?

i had my first experience of a spray tan today - i’ve never had one before, but as i was whiter than milk, thought that it would probably be a good thing to do! my friend has just learned to spray tan professionally and so offered me one for free, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, i did of course take advantage of the offer. i knew that she had already practiced on lots of people so i felt i was in safe hands…

that was of course unti she had sprayed one arm and then looked up to me and said “i’m going to try something new on you today” - lets put it this way, when you’re stood there with very little on and one brown arm, you don’t have much choice.

the disturbing thing is, that i thought the tan was meant to develop overnight, but literally you could see it darkening as soon as i got out of the booth and by the time i came to leave her house, all that you could see were my teeth! eek! things were made worse when she suggested getting a pizza - as she had done my tan, i of course offered to pay. when i went to put my shoes on though, she broke into a sweat and said that i would have to go out with no shoes on. it was ok she told me, as i could wait in the car whilst she ran in.

so, we were in the car, my friend and me the umpa lumpa with no shoes - when it struck me - i didn’t have any cash on me, just a cheque book. i then had the humiliation of walking into the restaurant to pay for dinner, darker than an umpa lumpa and with nothing on my feet - surely that causes hygiene issues for them?!? oh well…

she’s told me i have to keep it on overnight and wash it off in the morning, so i’m praying most of it will wash off, otherwise i’m going undercover! i’ll keep you posted!

 

Note: to my adorable friend, if you’re reading this - you know who you are - i’m sorry, i don’t really mean it, i love it, honestly :-/

the day started well, i was only 10 minutes late leaving the house rather than my usual 20! i was driving along in the sunshine, admiring the beautiful countryside when i spotted a wild deer (yes bambi herself i like to think). not quite able to believe my eyes, i kept doing a double take to check that i was seeing properly, when all of a sudden….flash, flash…. the speed camera took a photo as evidence! dammit!

so remember kids, don’t smile at bambi, keep your eyes pealed to the road! grrr!

m x