Monthly Archive

i’m moving into a little place of my own on saturday and so i started to pack my things today (late in the day i know). so far, i’ve cleared out one of my wardrobes and this is what is has amounted to:-

• 2 bags for ebay
• 4 bags for charity
• 5 bags for rubbish collection
• 5 suitcases to take with me and 2 holdalls

my question is - how can i never find anything to wear? you know damn well that the second i throw out some clothes, i’ll be wondering what i did with them and thinking that they’d be perfect to wear today. more to the point, how did it all fit in one wardrobe to begin with? on a brighter note - a whole bedroom as a walk-in wardrobe - come to mamma!

chippy chirpy thursday guys! m x

p.s. if you had to choose between an apple tv or an ipod hi-fi, which would you choose? or is it more a case of both??? hmmmn ponder and get back to me!

ok, so i have an admission to make. i have a stereotype of the kind of person that would drive a toyota prius hybrid. it’s wrong i know, but i automatically imagine an earth mother, wanting to save her planet - after all it is a damn ugly car. it was no surprise therefore when i passed one on the dual carriage way on the way home and found a fragile old lady behind the wheel.

fragile old lady my socks!

whilst pulled up at lights, the little old lady pulls up to me in her ugly car and stares straight at me. that’s what caught my attention as i could feel someone’s eyes in the side of my head (almost literally i swear). before you know it, the lights have changed, the granny’s revving her engine and speeds away. i had absolutely no way of keeping up with her.

as if that wasn’t a bitter enough pill to swallow, she felt the need to do a middle finger salute to me. she must have been at least 80. what kind of 80 year old lady tears you up at the lights and does a middle finger salute to you, in a hybrid nonetheless. the kind of old lady i want to be that’s for sure

poor little bugsy’s had it’s ego dented a little though, so we’re going to have to go and find a 3 wheeler to burn off at the lights, just to make it feel better! (i know, car’s don’t really have personalities - honest )

i suffered the worst ever flight back from new york - i’m still traumatised, i swear. firstly it was a night flight - so i had convinced myself that i would sleep the whole way back and wake up back in england. if only that were the case.

instead i had 300lb fat bob in front of me with the beefiest head in the world with dry patches. i know that’s not a nice thing to say and definitely not politically correct - but seriously, he put his chair back as far as it would go and it practically touched my nose.

not only did this mean i couldn’t put my table down, thus no surface for my mac without burning my lap it meant i had practically a 5cm space for the whole of 7 hours as my chair wouldn’t budge at all.

never mind i thought, at least i had a nice young girl sat next to me and not a stinking old guy. turns out the nice young girl was a stinking old guy in disguise who turned out had the snore of a lion and the dribble of a snail!

i think it’s fair to say i’ve never loved my bed more. i’m still waiting for the day BA sends me my gold card - i’m assuming it’s lost in the post!

i was reading this new blog the other day and it reminded me of a camping disaster that happened last summer! so whilst i haven’t finished telling you about my new york traumas, i feel forced to tell you the story whilst i remember.

everyone knows that one of the joys of camping is that you get to drink in the great outdoors and don’t have to worry about having to get home - genius. anyone who’s been camping will also be able to tell you though, that this causes havoc in the middle of the night when you’re desperate to pee and the toilet blocks are miles away.

well last summer, on a bank holiday weekend, all had been well and i had consumed a few alchoholic beverages with friends when i woke in the middle of the night dying to pee. not convinced that i could hold it all of the way to the toilet block (why am i telling you this again?), i decided to move a fair distance from the tent and pee as nature intended. gross looking back - but you can’t say you’ve never done it!

that alone would be traumatic enough, let me tell you. or that was at least until a bright light started making it’s way towards me. as i looked up, i could see a group of happy party goers unloading from a caravan all laden with torches - which for some odd reason seemed to be making their way to me. within seconds, and i mean seconds, the torches were on me and they were squealing like kids. the only thing i remember hearing is “oh be fair, the poor things staying in a tent” - the humilation you’d think would be enough to put you off of finishing your duties, but oh no, mid-flow, there was nothing that i could do other than wave as they stood there with their torch light on me until i had finished.

as you can probably imagine, i’m hoping the site will give me an insite on how to camp with more dignity - although whether i’m beyond helping only remains to be seen!

ok, so as most of you know, i was in new york last week - although before i get emails from you asking how much i spent - i was there to work, so not half as much shopping got done than should have been the minimum legal requirement…

saturday was shopping day though and boy was i excited! by 8am, i was showered, dressed and raring to go - only to find that the shops didn’t open until 10am - i thought things were open 24/7 in new york, but apparently this isn’t the case for tiffanys.

following the longest 2 hours of my life, i wandered down fifth avenue and was one of the sad people i said i’d never become, queueing outside of the store, waiting for it to open. as we shoved our way through the front door as it opened, one woman actually physically elbowed me. i couldn’t complain as i was in shock that someone wanted to be in there more than me. fair play to her.

a full 90 minutes later, i emerged from tiffanys, purse a little lighter but a lot happier - so it proves, shopping really is magic. i’m not sure why i’m telling you so much about this as it’s nothing to do with my story, but shopping’s involved, so can you blame me? and whilst i’m on the subject, i popped into abercrombie on the way back - girls - there are some seriously gorgeous young men in that store… who needs sweets when you can walk around there all day???? god, i sound 90!

anyway, the heat was blistering and i had way over-dressed, having worn a dress over jeans and flat shoes. by the time i got back to the hotel, i had to slip off my jeans as it was way too hot, although it did leave my dress a little short. this was made worse by the fact that my flat shoes had rubbed blisters meaning that i had to put on my heels (i know - they’re comfier than my flats i swear).

as you can tell, i hadn’t really thought this through properly when you consider the activity planned for that afternoon - a yankees game. like a lamb to the slaughter. a lamb to the slaughter i tell you. never have i had so many comments or lears, so i just kept my head down and kept walking. that was until i heard this really loud man shout at the top of his lungs “oi, i thought paris was back in jail” - well i could have cried. i had to sit for the rest of the game with a beer just to cover my legs (that’s my story and i’m sticking to it) but if it’s any consolation that yankees won. go yankees go.

note to all girls - dresses and heels are the custom uniform for a yankees game. you’d be better suited in old jeans a t-shirt and trainers. otherwise you’re likely to stand out like a sore thumb that even a cap won’t disguise. trust me.

p.s. why is it that when you’ve just got into the rhythmn of the clapping that is stops and you’re left to look like a fool? is that just me?

yes, i know - i’m naive and innocent and that’s why i have the face of an angel. i have a couple of instances to back this up, just in case you don’t believe me.

1. when i arrived at the airport for my flight to new york, there was increased security and they were quizzing everyone as to when they had packed there cases and whether there were any electrical items inside. understably the lady asking the questions was very sombre and sensible and really didn’t know what she was letting herself in for when she came to ask me the questions - poor thing! having started flapping my arms around for a few minutes, i managed to muster “oooh, some straightners, um…. oohhh…..aaahh….it’s like a quiz” - she gave in and moved to the next person in line.

2. at the other end all of my colleagues were quizzed by customs, so i prepared myself in order to not have a similar incident to earlier in the day - only to be granted access without any questions - they could obviously tell it wasn’t worth their while

3. having finally unpacked and located the hotel bar, i sat down to enjoy my first glass of wine. before you know it, i’ve knocked the glass over and it’s smashed into a million pieces. as a waitress approached, i hung my head in shame. she bent down and whispered in my ear “normally you break it, you pay for it, but you’ve got a pretty face, so i’ll get you another glass” god, i love looking like an angel!!! if only people knew me

yes that would be me!

i’m in new york at the moment with work and sharing a room with a colleague. normally we’d have two double beds in a room to share, but they made a mistake yesterday and aren’t due to switch us until later today, so we just had to make the most of it. that alone wouldn’t normally be too bad, but we’ve only known each other for a matter of weeks.

therefore it’s fair to say, i was excercising my bed etiquette - more so than if i was sharing a bed with an old friend. determined not to snore, whack her in the face with a flolloping arm or spoon her in the middle of the night, i was desperately trying to sleep on my edge of the bed.

4am came and i was wide awake as my body clock hadn’t adjusted. i was still tired though but starting to get frustrated that i couldn’t sleep. whereas i would normally toss and turn i was incredibly conscious that i had to lie still. eventually it got too much and i did the shuffle turn, turning as slowly as possible so as not to wake her. this back fired though when i fell backwards onto the floor and ended up in a heap.

i nervously looked up to the bed, where she still appeared to be sound asleep and at that point decided that i had may as well get up. only to then go and fall over the wire of my mobile phone charger. before you know it, i’m in a heap on the floor again. dammit!

still no movement from her, so i was starting to get a little concerned that she was even still alive. upon closer inspection though, it turned out she was wearing ear plugs… note to self - in future don’t be such a worry wart. i say that, but i’m still actually sat here, desperately needing the bathroom but not wanting to wake her with the flush

… if it wasn’t screwed on!

about a week ago, i was walking up the stairs when i came across smudgie, my little princess cat. she wasn’t moving and she’s normally really skittish so i knew there was something wrong. upon further inspection i found that although she was wearing a “snappable” safety colar, somehow she had hooked her front paw in her collar and was walking around 3 legged!

having released her from her compromising situation, i took off the colar and put it on the side as i was concerned that her neck would be a bit sore. five whole days later i was speaking to my friend and explaining to my friend how the magnetic cat flap works - when it dawned on me - i hadn’t put her collar back on…. eek! poor little thing must have been sat with her legs crossed for days but she’s a bit of a home bird so i didn’t notice! who let me have pets!

you’ll be pleased to hear, her collar is firmly back on her neck and she’s free to go out whenever she pleases!

happy sunday!

m x

p.s. on a separate note, i drove to the mall yesterday with the roof down and managed to get burned… by the time i got there i looked like a tomato. lovely. to make matters worse, when i was pulled up at the lights, a guy pulled up on a motorbike and told me i should get better taste in music than kasabian! the cheek! what would he prefer - the spice girls?

p.p.s i’m off to new york with work tomorrow, so hoping to take some good snaps - if i do, i’ll post them here