to the guy who lives in apartment 4,

i just wanted to drop you a note to sincerely apologise for any distress caused through seeing me naked on saturday. i really didn’t know that fake tan could set off the fire alarm and i appreciate you coming down to check that i wasn’t on fire. i promise that in future, i will ensure all of the blinds are closed before getting undressed and yes, you’re right, it really is hard work being a girl.

my sincerest apologies once again,

the rather embarrassed although lovely tanned, mel x

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