having worked in marketing, i know that nothing is more important than targeting your material correctly. so i always find it interesting when i receive spam to see why they thought i’d fall within their target market…
according to the mail in my spam folder today:-
- the following property fits your criteria – i’m only renting for the time being and kind of looking, so i can forgive them for that- 1 point to the spammers
- airtime for mobiles - yes i use my mobile phone far more than i should, but it’s good to talk – 1 point to the spammers
- don’t have a small manhood for all of your life - minus 20 points for the spammers
- obtain the degree you deserve – ok so i don’t have a degree, but i’ve been to the school of life – 1 point to the spammers
- with a larger manhood you…(i can’t write more, it’s too rude) – minus 20 points for the spammers
- fill her whole mouth…f(you get the idea) – minus 20 points for the spammers
- $119.95 VIAGRA – minus 20 points for the spammers
- adobe creative suite – yes i’m a girl geek, but i’m proud of it people – 1 point to the spammers
- adobe photoshop – airbrush that cellulite, it’s all good by me – 1 point to the spammers
- a bigger pen*s equals greater pleasure (for goodness sake!) – minus 20 points for the spammers
- at the end of the road? - i am having read all of these emails – 1 point to the spammers
so i was thinking about it and to be fair, much of the spam could be “kind of targeted” towards the kind of person that i am, but more worryingly – most of it is telling me that i’m a man. a man with issues. it’s really quite concerning – then it struck me – it’s my flipping name. everyone thinks i’m a guy again! great! so i’m going to test drive the usage of melanie for a while to see if i can get over my issues of thinking it sounds like a transvestite… wish me luck.
m x
p.s. i’m really sorry for being slow on the blog updates, consider me officially repremanded…. my event is in less than a month so things are suuuuper busy at the moment, but i’ll try harder going forward. promise. 
James P says:
Melanie! (not sure I can get used to that!)
I think your scoring system is a little harsh, 1 point for getting it right and -20 for getting it wrong! Not very fair on the poor spammers!
Plus I think you’re a little harsh on a couple of them. The “fill her whole mouth…” thing could have been talking about a nice big sandwich or cream cake or sausage, etc….. you just have a naughty mind! Also the VIAGRA might not be such a bad idea, you could keep a little stash in your bachelorette pad just incase of emergencies!! (you know what I mean!)
September 6, 2007 at 12:43 pm
randommel says:
i’m not sure i can get used to it either, but it has to be better than being confused for a man!
in relation to my scoring system, i think it’s fair – if you’re right, then you’ve done your research and that’s your job. if it’s not right, you’ve put no thought into it and offended me
lastly – the “fill her whole mouth” was actually quite explicit – but being the innocent angel that i am, i didn’t want to subject others to the same profanities. as for the viagra – like i say, i’m an angel, so i don’t need any to sit at home polishing my halo
September 6, 2007 at 1:18 pm
James P says:
Little angel M, I think you need to rush home and give your halo a serious buffing, it looks a bit rough round the edges! If your previous entries are anything to go by you certainly don’t have the voice of an angel!!!! Ha ha
September 6, 2007 at 3:14 pm