ok, so life’s complicated and traumatic enough under normal circumstances as you can probably tell. now consider that I’ve had to travel to Miami on my own - do you think that’s going to improve matters at all? no thought not!

i was doing quite well, had managed to get to the airport on time, caught the plane to the right city and things were looking quite positive, there was a chance i was starting to look like a responsible adult. i spoke too soon. as i got to customs, they grilled me within an inch of my life - apparently a bag of my size was not the norm for someone staying only 4 nights. a thorough search of my bag later, they sent me on my way having advised me to see someone about my shoe addiction. thanks.

relieved to finally be getting out of the airport, i went on hunt for the elusive car hire desk only to find a sign instructing me that the desk was unmanned (i kind of gathered that when i saw no one there) and i should head to the bus. wait a second. i thought i was getting a car, not a bus. serious confusion does not start to explain my state of mind at this stage.

having run across 2 lanes of cars with seriously grouchy drivers with my mammoth bag, i found a “car hire bus” and climbed on board with no idea as to where i was headed or what was going on, but it appeared to be free and it moved, both of which were positive features at this stage.

a 20 (yes 20!) minute drive later, the bus fnally pulled up to the car hire depot in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere and kicked me out (almost quite literally). glad that i could actually see hire cars, i went inside, probably a little more excitable that required (i assume this given the look that the counter assistant gave me. turns out they “lost my booking” and the only available care that they had was considerably more expensive than what i had previously been quoted. flustered and jet lagged, i signed the agreement and made my way out to their smallest car (which turned out to be the size of a small truck).

sugar lumps. it was automatic. i had never driven an automatic before.

baffled by the fact the car had been left without the handbreak on (i know… i told you i’d never driven an automatic) and trying to get the bite point using the accelerator and break (well i’m used to having a clutch) i finally started to kangaroo my way out of the carpark.

things were going well until i got to the exit, where i actually had to stop the car. without going into that in too much detail - the attendant proceeded to call out all of her colleagues (5 to be precise) to wish me luck at driving in miami). how kind.

a 90 minute, 6 mile drive (turns out the sat nav wasn’t all that clear) later, i finally pulled up at the hotel to find the extortionate parking rates were not those that had previously been provided to me. tired and exasperated, i locked up and headed in. after a night of broken sleep, worrying about the hire car costs, i got up at dawn to put in a call to the car hire company, explaining that i had injured my leg and wouldn’t be requiring the car for the rest of my trip and i was very sorry for any inconvenience (i was thinking on my feet, cut me some slack). before you know it, i was back on the road and so the trauma continued….

over and out from miami. i’m alive. things aren’t that bad.

p.s. when you apply sun cream, be sure to apply it evenly otherwise you end up with strange red patches, as i learned. that is all. happy sunday!

p.p.s this was my not so little hire car, otherwise known as a truck!

Tags: , hire car, miami

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