i’m a bad bad person

reasons…

1. i don’t tell people that it’s totally inappropriate for them to help themselves to my food when not invited and when i don’t know them – instead i curse them underneath my breath

2. i talk to people that i don’t know out of politeness often leading to them getting the wrong impression

3. i tell people that “of course i’d like to come back to meet you” when i have no intention of going back, but i don’t want to hurt their feelings (at least not face to face anyway)

4. i hide in the local deli, surrounded by huge menus in the hope that i don’t get spotted hiding

5. i jump in the nearest cab, even though i don’t want to go home yet, because that option seems better than going along with number 3

so i got back to my hotel today to find a letter underneath my door warning of “extreme weather conditions” – i know, i attract bad luck. having spoken to the people on the front desk, they advised me to stay indoors. which i managed, for the whole of 2 hours. then i got itchy feet (no not athletes foot) and had to head out to look for some more party venues. well i wish i hadn’t.

as i crossed the street with a flick of the hair to try and appear cool, i entered this uber cool bar and perched myself at the end of the bar. whilst waiting to get served, the man next to me started talking about the “imminent hurricane” and what went from keeping myself to myself ended up with him switching seats to sit next to me.

after talking to the catering manager for a while, she sent out some complimentary hor’deurves. the prospect of free food was very exciting for the whole of two seconds, when i glanced down to find my new “friend” helping himself. this did not go down well i can tell you and was not made any better by him telling me his wife allowed him to have an open relationship. at that stage, all hunger was lost anyway. i handed the catering manager my business card only to find him taking it from her and putting it in his pocket before telling me “i should give the nice lady one of her own” – hello!!!!

i looked around, trying to find the closest escape route, only to find the heaviest downpour i’ve quite possibly ever seen – there was no escaping for me. as soon as the rain became rain and not lethal blades of water, i made me excuses to leave… only to have him ask me to come back and meet him in an hour. how do you tell someone to their face that you’d rather eat your eyebrows than spend any more time talking to them? so i did the most wimply thing and agreed before scurrying out of the door, into the nearest deli and hiding behind a pile of menus…

i’ll never go to heaven!

p.s. he was also a biological scientist which kind of scared me a little. i’m not sure why

update – sugar lumps – he has my business card, what if he googles me??? not only did i not turn up – i then blogged about it. i’m such a bad person!

p.p.s. hiding in diners is not good for my waistline!