so my company are being lovely and replacing my decrepit ibook with a new shiney macbook pro. this did mean though that for the whole of last night, i was left without the interweb…. try and contain yourself, i know you feel my pain.

i didn’t realise quite how bad things were though until this morning, when taking a shower i realised that i had run out of conditioner and had to hop out of the shower, into the cold and run along the hall to grab another for the cupboard*

the realisation of how bad my twitter addiction had become came when sprinting back along the hall, i thought “i should twitter this, damn i can’t”…. at what point did i stop thinking things in my head and have the need to tell the whole world?

damn, i’m doing it again!

* yes, i realise that i should consider keeping my spare stash somewhere closer, like the bathroom for instance!

now i know that people often joke that women are bad drivers, but i’m afraid it’s just not true. people may argue that i’m not the best driver, in fact i’ve heard it been said that i shouldn’t be allowed on the road - but i think that’s totally unfair. i’m a good driver. honest.

proof

i believe that the proof lies in the pudding or the parking in this case. to prove that i know my car well, look at the perfect bit of parking that i did below. many would say it was a close shave, but i know that it was just very well executed…

balanced argument

now of course i’m going to be biased and others might not have such faith in my driving abilities so i thought it fair that i portray a fair image by letting you in on some not such clever driving antics…

only last week what should have been a 20 minute journey turned into an 80 minute journey because i got onto the motorway going the wrong way. it was a slight act of blondeness i’ll admit, but it doesn’t make me a bad driver?

so here was the original route…

and my actual route…

now i hear what you’re saying - when i realised that i was heading in the wrong direction, why didn’t i try and get off of the motorway sooner. now that’s where my plan fell apart slightly. my left indictor doesn’t work at the moment. there was a policeman behind me. it’s illegal to drive without indicators. so i therefore couldn’t turn left until he had turned off. nightmare. made worse only by the fact that my petrol tank was completely empty and i had to breath in the whole way to try and make myself lighter. does that even work?

so i suppose what i’m trying to say is that i am a good driver, but thank goodness for sat nav!

happy monday! x

p.s. on a completely separate note, i had an email today with the title “dear sir”. have they not read any of my blog posts? do they not know that i spend my whole time ranting about my sexual identity? apparently not… i’m a girl i tell you, a girl!

i walked into my apartment yesterday to find that the light had gone. without freaking out, complaining or calling for someone to help, i automatically went to the cupboard pulled out a new lightbulb and got straight to work at changing it. this got me to thinking how much things have changed over the last 6 months. so here’s a few of the things i can do now:-

• lift heavy things
• show you where my tool case is (yes, i now have tools)
• hang a painting
• put together a bed
• check the water and oil on my car (although i don’t know how to do anything about it)

so now not only do i have a masculine name apparently, i also have manly skills. where did i leave that car jack?

after what feels like months of not having a life and turning into a working machine, i’m back - hoorah! not just back but back in full randomness you’ll be pleased to hear… so please don’t expect any direction or sense from this post - i’m still slightly delerious!

i’ve got this week off to chill, sleep and chill some more - although it appears that the magnet inside my mac is stronger than ever and it seems to pull me back at the soonest possible opportunity. i’m gradually going to have to wean myself off of it - good lord, when did i become such a geek? you see when you host a web conference, it becomes acceptable for your inner geek to be released, in fact being a girl geek is almost respected. but now, i’m back to reality where to most of my friends the internet = facebook, so i’m doing my best to cover the geekiness and fit back into society, not to huge avail at the moment, it should be said.

i decided to try and assist the process by buying trashy magazines, bringing everything that i could possibly need for the next 24 hours to my room so that i don’t have to get out of bed (although that doesn’t include a commode - that would just be weird) and wearing the comfiest slippers in the world.

i say that i’m planning to stay in bed for the next 24 hours as i don’t want people to see the egg bump on my head. in full mel fashion yesterday, i managed to add yet more drama to my ever traumatic life… this is kind of how it went:-

* picked up razor to de-forest legs (nice i know, i’ve been busy - give me a break)

* dropped razor

* tried to catch razor

* slashed open finger

* blood squirted everywhere (enhanced by the running water)

* wake up cold in the bath having passed out

why oh why am i such a baby??? so now, i’m going to sit here, hiding my egg from the world and read about mothers who divorced their children who married their fathers, who were secretly their cousins and had 11 children - got to love the british mags!

oooh and on a separate note, i’ve had feedback that you’d like another video update, so if i can think of something interesting to say and find a hair style that covers my egg, you might want to watch this space…

over and out from your ever random friend xox